SOWEDDIT · SOMALI WEDDING EDIT
Wedding Diaries
Are couples choosing nikkah only weddings to save money, or to actually keep the celebration halal?
One Nikkah. Two Halls. 670 Guests.
F and A married in London in January 2023 after six months of planning. The plan started with 150 men and 150 women. The final guest count was 670. There was no separate aroos, just one nikkah celebration across two adjoining halls, with the men in one and the women in the other.
BRIDE
F, 27
GROOM
A, 28
BASED
London
WHAT WE DO
Teacher + HR
PLANNING TIME
6 months
TOTAL SPEND
£25,580
NIKKAH
Two halls, 670 guests
01 THE VISION
Keeping It Halal, Without Making It Tiny
My vision for the wedding was to keep it as halal as possible while being able to celebrate with my loved ones. It was really important to me that I wasn't pressured into non-halal elements such as music with instruments, men coming in when I'm not covered and phones being snuck in at the end of the wedding.
Our soo dhoonis was at home with a garden marquee and had about 30 people there in total. The rest of my wedding was slightly unconventional in the sense that it was a nikkah only, but not limited to just men. I had Milan Palace and Tudor Rose booked together, which are large adjoining halls in the same venue, for anyone that hasn't had the pleasure of attending an aroos there before!
The men were in one and the women were in the other at the same time. My plan was to come in after the 'aqbaltu' moment was official so I could celebrate with the women too.
THE HICCUP I DID NOT PLAN FOR
But weddings never go exactly according to plan. My biggest hiccup was that I couldn't leave my hotel and reach the car. I was staying next to a stadium that happened to have a home game, so I ended up stuck in the human traffic of football hooligans and stewards while in full bridal attire.
But weirdly, all their cheering helped get me into the right headspace for what I was about to walk into.
We planned for 300.
The final number was 670.
Being the first to get married on either side meant 300 guests was just not going to work.
MINIMOON, HONEYMOON OR BOTH?
A few days after the nikkah, we went to the Lake District for a minimoon and honestly, that was exactly what I needed. After the tiredness of all the events, I just wanted to recover, settle into our new home and get used to married life before thinking about a big adventure. Ten months later, we went to Mexico for our honeymoon, and I actually loved doing it that way.
02 LET'S TALK NUMBERS
What Did a 670 Guest Nikkah Actually Cost?
The budget covered the wedding day, minimoon and honeymoon, rather than every cost involved in getting married.
03 THE QUESTION
Nikkah Only: Saving Money or Keeping It Halal?
The biggest challenge for me was deciding whether to prioritise aesthetics and a beautiful wedding, or prioritise family and allow everyone to be there and enjoy the moment. Being a Type B bride with six months to organise made that decision a lot easier. I basically decided: let's just have a good time!
For me, the nikkah only format was definitely more about keeping the wedding halal. Having just a nikkah instead of a nikkah and an aroos sounds like it should be cheaper in theory but I had 670 guests so 'nikkah only' didn't exactly mean small or cheap.
04 WHAT I WOULD CHANGE
The £500 I Would Not Spend Again
Invitations for sure. I think make a beautiful one for yourself to keep as a memory and maybe hand a few out to people you know would appreciate it. Other than that, e-invites are absolutely the way to go.
05 THE PLOT TWISTS
Things Nobody Warns You About
Who knew singers charge more if you say you don't want any backing music playing?! Apparently they're working harder than usual.
The flip side was having both halls at the same time. The men left their hall as soon as they were done eating, which meant I could leave the women's section and use their hall for family photos in peace. No rushing, no hundreds of eyes gawking at me, and no random people getting on stage and photobombing.
06 IF YOU COULD DO IT AGAIN
Have a Vision Before You Need One
I wish I'd known how long it takes to plan for everything. The soo dhoonis required a lot of work since it wasn't just immediate family. Contacting vendors and finding people that were available as well as the right price felt extremely overwhelming, and then trying to plan for the future of life post nikkah was really hard.
The concept of having your whole wedding mapped out from a young age is something that never really resonated with me, largely because I always knew I didn't want a wedding in the traditional sense. But having a solid vision for yourself is really important. The intricate details don't need to be set in stone, because budget, taste, style and potential requests from in laws can all change. It just gives you the head start you need when there are so many moving parts.
07 VENDOR SHOUTOUT
Amina Photography
Amina Photography for sure. It honestly felt like I had my own personal coordinator.
She was helping me get ready during my pre-shoot and making sure the timeline I had planned for the important photography moments was actually on schedule. Trying to organise people during a busy wedding is no easy feat, but Amina did this so well.
Also, taking photos as a newly married couple can be SO awkward! She had us feeling completely at ease, had a great sense of humour and did such a good job directing us.
I would book her again in a heartbeat.
THE TAKEAWAY
Nikkah only does not automatically mean small, and it does not automatically mean cheap. Maybe the better question is what the couple is actually trying to prioritise.
Thanks for letting us into your day.
Somewhere out there, a bride planning her own nikkah will breathe a little easier because of you.
WITH LOVE, SOWEDDIT
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